Today in the Paper ...

Hey There, Hi There,

It is Monday. Felt like a Monday all day, too. On to the news.

A member of the Royal family makes racist comments. Yawn. What healthy 20 something British soldier laddie doesn't use a bit of misplaced profanity now and then. Get over it.

The war continues in the Gaza - a tragedy for both sides, but brighter lights than I have not been able to either adequately describe the problem, or offer a remedy with sticking power. My heart bleeds and breaks for the people caught in the crossfire of history and religious politics.

American car makers hire 100 monkeys to create names for their new cars - randomly typing in a warehouse/zoo in Detroit - and the legible words that appear most often get put on a carnival wheel and become car names if their lucky number comes up -

• the GM Spark - better from GM than Ford (Pinto, anyone?)
  
• the Ford Fiesta (cause every car is a party - better Fiesta than Siesta),
  
• the Kia Soul'ster (because you pray every time you get behind the wheel - when they say driving a Kia is a religious experience, it's not necesarily a good thing)
• the Dodge Circuit EV - (let us conjugate the verb Dodge - dodge, dodgey, dodged as in avoided - mmmm..... subliminal reason for car sales - the name means "to avoid")

So - they finally get the idea that small is better and hybrids or electric cars are what the public and the planet need. All it took was the looming spectre of bankruptcy and a government bailout. Nicely done, gentlemen. All three CEOs should be replaced immediately, the companies merged, and Ralph Nader put in charge of the auto industry. And the CFO should be the guy that writes the Lemon-Aid books. Al Gore can advise from the sidelines.

What about the ZENN? If the Big Boys of Detroit are going to make electric cars, and the provinces open up the roads for them, then why haven't they already done so for the ZENN? Time to find out what' up with that.

Incognito Ergo Sum,

Jane Doe, Citizen.

A Paper in Hand...

Hey there, hi there...

I've decided to try something new this calendar year - I am going to open a blog post when I start reading my daily paper (which is not always daily, just to be clear) so I can capture my moments of brilliance amidst the mountains of fodderall that churn through my mind when I get my daily local news update. I will try to keep my observations germaine, witty, ascerbic, and thought provoking. I will try. And if I don't have anything to say - then I won't.

So here we go. Wonder if I'll find anything to blog about today:

Easy Peasey!

the headline is "are they worth it" and it refers to the salaries paid to some top Winnipeg executives. It is fair to line-list all the CEOs in Winnipeg and list their salaries. I'm sure these guys are nice guys - this is about the position, not the person. (are they all men? or am I missing something here? I'll have to reread the list).

They should also list the number of employees who make minimum wage working for these companies, how many pay bands of employees there are, and what the average wage is per worker. That plus a performance factor - how well does this guy do his job? Do the staff have everything they need to do their jobs well?

I am a believer in the 6-Step system of Compensation - the lowest paid employee should make 1/6 of what the highest paid employee/owner/ceo makes - and there are only 6 incremental pay bands between Joe Labor and Jane CEO (that has a nice ring to it, doesn't it - Jane CEO).

so, if Mr. McFeeters (cause he's the first guy on the list) makes $5,294,772 (which is the biggest number on the list) so Joe Laborer should make a cool $882,462. Sound completely unrealistic? It is. Both sides of the equation need to be making a lot less to have a sound business model, in my humble opinion.

Who do you think is doing more on a day to day basis to make the company profitable, dealing with clients, dealing with sales, dealing with complaints - than the staff? Who have to put up with fear of being fired, due to the global recession? How many job grades are there at Great West Life? Or at any of these companies?

What exactly would Mr. McFeeters or other C-Suite Dwellers have to do to be given their two weeks notice? Just curious. I wonder how that compares to the rank and file in this very large and very non-union shop. What does the average employee have to do to get canned, in these tough economic times. It is the worker at the lower end of the pecking order that is the cannon fodder in times of economic challenge - just take a look at the Three Stooges of the US Car Industry. Even when GM was losing money like water over Niagara - the CEO got higher compensation. Give me a break (only if I have medical benefits).

Lots of good questions ... to be asked of the C-Level suite all down the list. I'd love some answers - but there is no way to get them from all the CEOs. That's because, too often at the top of the big pyramid of the workplace, the C stand for Crap - and crap runs downhill. Profit, like power, stays at the top.

Incognito ergo sum,
Jane Doe, Citizen.